A brief and humorous guide to some of the silver jewellers attending the Limerick conference.
Without doubt no other set of jewellers on the planet have larger beer bellies. Here they are all assembled ready of the international jewellery conference, held in Limerick, Ireland.
Limerick Airport 2006
Graham de beer and Dave the diamond cutter greet Reg Gump for the international jewellery conference at Limerick airport.
The silver industry has taken its toll on the 23 year old grant silver. Currently single, Grants only criteria for his ideal female companion is that she has a pulse although this may be overlooked on the odd occasion.
Diamond cutter Dave
Renown international diamond cutter 'Dave-the-cutter' sporting the latest pair of £1.95 sunglasses. Some say he drinks his own bath water. Others claim he can smuggle 20 uncut diamonds in his wallet however this has been proven to be untrue as no carbon based life-form has ever seen his wallet.
Graham de beer
If you drink continuously until 4.a.m. then this is the consequence. His expertise in gem setting silver-mounts is only equalled by his capacity to consume cheap lager and Guinness. He now heads an international private equity firm and works part time for the woman's institute.
Den the stone setter
Learnt his trade whilst undertaking a community rehabilitation order imposed by the Magistrates for offences with badgers, now the foremost stone cutter in the international gem world. Capable of consuming 2.1 gallons of Guinness in 2 hours this is not the man to share a hotel room without breathing apparatus. When looking for his ideal medium for jewellery there is no criteria - metal, gemstones or mineral or will suffice.
Richard the Ring Maker
President of the rare metals and gases club, he is renown for his ability to eat his own spleen. The remarkable talents of Richard include the ability to stand and talk whilst completely unconscious.